Do Over

The past two months have been really rough. All the doctors that I have seen agree that I have a severe neurological disorder and one physician believes that it might be MS. With this in mind, I have nurtured my body with the most nutritious foods I could get my hands on, drank between 80 and 100 ounces of filtered water each day, exercised for a few minutes each day and took lots of detoxifying baths. Gradually my body is recovering, slowly but surely.

Being ill with a debilitating disease does a lot to your body, but perhaps more to your mind. I had lots of time to reflect on what I am doing with my life. Many times I made up my mind to close my blog and give up on sewing all together. After all, there is so much more to life that confining oneself in a sewing room day in and day out. A few glances at my sewing room during random times of the day, made me feel overwhelmed and uninspired. Then one day it occurred to me that instead of producing more items, perhaps I should be making only things that reflect who I am, things that I really love. Much of what I had in my room was not reflective of who I am or who I desire to be: It had to go.

It took me a few weeks before I felt strong enough to conquer such a task, but finally the day came. Yesterday I tackled the huge job and I am glad I did, I feel so much lighter.

This is my sewing room a few minutes after I started:

Uncleaned Sewing Room 1

I threw out all kinds of stuff unfinished projects, quilt designs, and all my precut squares.

Uncleaned Sewing Room 2

Uncleaned Sewing Room 3

Uncleaned Sewing Room 4

Sewing Room 1

I know it sounds crazy, but I had an overwhelming need to get rid of it all. The bag had to weigh at least 15 lbs by the time I was finished.

The room now looks like this, and I have no regrets. In fact I actually feel ready to start my next project.

Sewing Room 2

Sewing Room 3

Sewing Room 4

Sometimes we really need to take a step back and reassess our lives. Change can feel really uncomfortable, but often times it is necessary to do in order to grow.

 

Happy Creating!

8 thoughts on “Do Over

  1. Good work! I agree, it’s good to reassess what we make and why and how we make it (and why we do other things besides make, as well.) I know what you mean about feeling lighter with less. I do hope you’ll begin to feel physically better, soon. I wish you well as you move through this process.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Bella, first I do hope and pray it is not MS, but so many are living with it now. From time to time I have had to do the same. I package up all the fabric that I will never use and give it to my cousin or to a church. I cannot handle messes, so I have to stay organized. This last year has been horrific and now ending it with the flu was devastating, but am over it but yesterday I overdid and paying for it so off to the bed for a nap so tomorrow will not be a wash out day! I am blessed because I only have Meniere’s and Fibro and a iffy bad back. Continue on the path and rest and do something different. I have always been a person to have to have a change from time to time. Please get better and I do enjoy your Blog! Let’s hope we have a wonderful 2018. Only 10 more days of 2017 and we can look forward to starting over again.

    Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh Bella!! I am so glad that you did what helps you feel better. Sewing should always be something you want to do, and your space should make you happy so you are inspired. I’m not sure I could have done that, so I am amazed at your fortitude! You are a determined woman, on all fronts. I am so happy that you have seen progress in that past weeks, and will pray that it continues and you find the system that helps you most.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! What a sense of accomplishment! I find that when I have stuff on my mind or am unable to work on a project I need to get rid of the physical clutter. Often times I just go clean out a closet or a chest of drawers, something happens in righting my psyche in getting rid of the things. I’m so happy this worked for you. I will be sending peaceful thoughts your way that the doctors find what is going on with you and that it is not too serious. I think you’re off to a good start with taking care of what you are eating.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I hope you find peace in whatever you do. I am coming to terms with my illness in my sewing room and find that sewing things to leave for my loved ones is helping me through some very hard times. We all deal with emotions in our own way and whatever way works for us is the best. You will be in my thoughts that you find your way.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The doctors say my daughter may have MS. They are still waiting on test results. She tells me of the awful constant pain. It gets so bad she is often in tears. I do what I can to help by taking care of her kids while she rests.

    I’ve also had thoughts of giving up my blogs and giving up my quilting. I do a flip flop about it. One day I’m ready to shut it all down and the next I’m thinking of new ideas for new posts and drawing sketches for new quilts and quilting designs. I love quilting but the stress of making a living from it can be too much.

    I do hope you will have a happy pain free holiday.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom, I really feel your support. Thank you also for sharing your stories, here under the comments section as well as on your blogs. I don’t always respond to every post that people put on their sites, but I do read them. You are all an inspiration for me every day. I feel very blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.

    Like

Comments are closed.